Warm Whispers
by MPGirl
Summary: It had been eight days since Vanessa has last seen Nate. She was actually a little surprised he hadn’t just shown up at her doorstep, like he had that night. Nate/Vanessa. One-Shot. SPOILER WARNING.


_**Warm Whispers**_

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gossip Girl or any of its characters.

_**SPOILER ALERT**_. _**SPOILER ALERT**_. _**SPOILER ALERT**_. _**SPOILER ALERT**_. _**SPOILER ALERT**_. _**SPOILER ALERT**_.

**A/N:** This is set in the undefined future, I guess you could say. It's after Nate's cousin comes in and NV subsequently break up. Nate then goes back to Blair for a short time. Also the part in the italics is a flashback. ;)

Thanks to Tati!!

* * *

He had been calling from his cell for two days, but gave up when she continuously refused to answer.

On the third day, he used a pay phone. It wasn't long before Ruby simply disconnected their phone line. It was hard to get any sleep when a teenage boy was calling your younger sister repeatedly.

After six days, the calls stopped all together.

It had been eight days since Vanessa has last seen Nate. She was actually a little surprised he hadn't just shown up at her doorstep, like he had that night.

_She sees a town car pull up and let him out. Anger rises up in her chest, to mingle with the sadness that seems to have taken up permanent residence in her body. _

_She moves __quickly__ from her room to the entrance, opening the door before he has a chance to ring the bell. _

_He looks even more handsome then he __she remembers__. _

_It's his eyes, piercing into her soul. You can't recreate that feeling. _

"_Why are you here?" She __says__ immediately. She doesn't want to prolong this __more than__ necessary. _

"_I had to see you." It's a simple answer, one that infuriates her and thrills her just the same._

"_I'm not yours anymore." She feels the need to remind him of that fact because he's looking at her like she belongs to him, and she can't stand it. "You don't get to just show up here."_

Her phone rings. It's an unfamiliar number, so she hopes it's safe. "Hello."

"Vanessa!" He practically yells through the phone. There's so much joy evident in his voice that it makes her heart beat a little faster.

But she will not fall back into his trap.

"You! Again! What, did you go to another pay phone?" She's angry, pacing back and forth in her small kitchen, as she clutches her phone tightly.

"Ruby told you about that, huh?" He asks. She knows he must look adorable at that moment, all sheepish and shy.

"I listened to her scream at you," Vanessa explains. "The expletives she used were my favorite parts."

He chuckled, "You're still angry, I see."

"This is not something that's just going to go away, you know." Her voice was softer, more vulnerable.

"I know, I know. But I thought, if you wouldn't talk to me, you probably wouldn't want to see me. Baby steps, I figured. Work my way back up." He seemed hopeful as he spoke. Like this was all part of some master plan and today, by getting her on the phone, he had succeeded in the first task.

She was quick to dash that hope. "There is no working you're way to anything."

_Nate __runs__ his right hand through his hair. "You gave me up."_

"_So you could have a better life."_

"_I didn't care about the money." He vents. "I just wanted you."_

"_That money was your future!" She __moves__ back and forth as she __talks__. "College cost money, Nate. You once told me there was nothing wrong with keeping__ your__ options open. I knew if you lost that money, you would lose a few options, too." She __stops__ right in front of him, hoping to see a look of understanding on his face._

_Nate always wants the truth from people. He can't deal with being left out __of __something, even if it is for his own good. His question is something she's been expecting since this conversation began. "So, then, why didn't you tell me all of this before?"_

_She answers him with a question of her own. "If I told you the truth, would you have left me alone?" _

"_Never."_

_It's an answer she wishes he __hadn't said__ so passionately, so sincerely, in a way that smashes her heart into more pieces._

After a moment of silence, he sighs. "I'm really trying here."

"It's too late for that." She keeps her voice detached, almost as if she were bored.

It sounds almost foreign to Nate. This isn't his kind and wonderful Vanessa. His Vanessa was all softness and blue eyes that, despite their color, were always so warm. This girl he's on the phone with is hard and cold.

"_Why were you with her, then?" Her voice cracked before she could even spit the question out. "I felt like such an . . . insignificant part of your life when you ran back to her. You seemed happy in the pictures I saw on Gossip Girl." _

"_Pictures don't tell the whole story." He __shakes__ his head. _

_She __stays__ level with him, her knees shaking. "Do you have any idea how it felt to be sitting in my room, being miserable, and knowing that you could be happy with someone else? I told Dan that if you were happy, then I was happy for you because I really only wanted what was best for you. I just never considered the possibility that I wasn't what was best for you. And that thought crushed me," she __breathes,__ tasting the salty tears that fell from her sapphire orbs. _

"So any guesses on how I'm talking to you right now?" Nate says, trying to lighten the mood.

"I take it you are not at another pay phone, then," Vanessa observes.

"Let's just say your sister was not the only one who yelled curses at me the last time I used one of those things."

She didn't want to laugh, she really didn't. But, of course, she did, anyway. And, God, it felt good to do that again, to experience any other emotion besides anger and resentment and heartbreak.

"So are you going to guess?"

"Nate, tell me, or I hang up," she threatens.

"Okay, I bought a new cell phone, got a whole new number and everything. Just so I could talk to you." He smiles widely now.

"You are an idiot!" She seethes. "That was a complete waste of money."

"I can't say that was the reaction I was hoping for, but you always have managed to surprise me. I was hoping you could appreciate the initiative, though. "

"There was a time, just a few months ago, when I thought you hated me, when I wouldn't have been able to contain myself if you did this, but now. I just, I -"

There was that silence again. He can hear her breathing through the phone, and he knows he has to say something before he misses his chance.

So he says what he needs her to believe. What he needs her to know. "I know it'll take time, but I want to gain your trust back."

He hears her intake of breathe before she mumbles, "I have to go, Nate."

And then the line goes dead.

_Her tear stained face meets his somber one._

"_I was just so lost," he__ explains__. "You left, and I didn't know what to do. Everything with Blair was so easy. Being with her, well, it was easier then being alone."_

"_But you always leave me crushed, and then you go off with the next girl who's easy to be with. And I can't just move on like that, so I'm left hurt and alone and missing you," she __jumps __on his words, needing to allow her pent frustration to spill from her every pore._

"_I've missed you so much, Vanessa. I mean, I-I love you," he __sputters._

"_Those words feel so empty to me right now." Her tears __flow__ down her beautiful face again, harder __than__ before. _

"_Don't say that," he __pleads__, taking her hand in his._

"_I __want to__ believe you, Nate." She squeezes his hand, holding on for dear life. _

"_Then believe me, trust me," he __begs__. "I trust you; I shared everything that happened with my family with you."_

"_I really want to believe you," she __mutters,__ her tears now blurring her vision. _

_He __takes __her hand __and kisses it__. "I love you. Believe me when I say that. You always see so much more in me __than__ anyone else. __Please__."_

_She __nods and kisses__ him lightly on his parted lips. "I know that you love me," she whispers. Her hand traces along his lips __as she studies__ his face, implanting him in her brain, memorizing every thing about him as best she __can__ with her red-rimmed eyes. _

"_And I know that I love you, too." His eyes shine so brightly as the words fall from her trembling lips. "But I can't do this anymore."_

_She removes herself from his grip and runs inside, slamming the door and never looking back._

* * *


End file.
